Top 7 Risky Situations And How To Escape Them – Nigerian Style

Whenever we leave the comfort of our home -sometimes even in the comfort of our homes- we can never tell when danger will strike -unless you are a psychic. In lieu of this, we’ve decided to train you in the art of disaster survival.

Here’s to being adamant about the safety of my readers and fellow Nigerians.

From the workaday to the arcane, here are Top 7 Risky Situations And How To Escape Them.

1. Stampeding crowd

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We all know how Nigerian churches attracts crowds, if you ever find yoursef among a huge crowd and then all of a sudden there is a stampede.
Stay on your feet. Period. This is the key to survival. As soon as you get knocked down your chances decrease significantly. If this is the case, however, and you can’t get up immediately, assume a protective posture with your feet tucked up and your hands covering your head. Try to position your face in the direction the crowd is moving so you don’t get kicked and try to get back on your feet ASAP.

2. Dog Attack

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If you ever visit a girlfriend for the first time and Dogs belonging to her Dad attacks you, Kick and kick hard to avoid been ripped to shreds. Your skin/life is worth more than her love.

If the Dog keeps coming at you then use a weapon – maybe a stick or stone. The dog is almost certainly faster than you so your best bet is to fight it out.

3. Hostage situation

Although most kidnap victims survive, it can take years for them to be released. But no matter what, don’t lose hope and stay mentally active, assess your environment, the surrounding.

Try to constantly reassess the risks/benefits of attempting an escape, also be smart, if there is no chance atall of you making a run for it, you could make your situation worse so it may be a good idea to stay compliant.

4. Caught in a Police Shootout

We all know how our police love to shoot when chasing a suspect. sometimes in the course of this they even gun down innocent civilians.
If You ever see a police chase, your first priority should obviously be your life. If there is no shop or house available then lie flat on the ground until they pass. But if you are caught in a police crossfire with armed robbers, do the same thing, lie on the ground but this time you may have to Use your judgement to slowly crawl to safety.

5. Attacked by a Rapist

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Getting attacked by a rapist is never fun, if not handled well it can have dire consequence.

And ladies, this is for you, because it does happen… whenever you get attacked by a man who intends to forcefully have his way with you dont freak out, dont lose hope, try to have control over your wits This way you can at least have some control over what you are doing.

Attackers usually have an idea of how the attack will happen. Disrupt that idea. Fight like a furious cat – try to kick him in the groin, and yell loudly and strongly, But if that fails and he’s ontop of you, scream the hell out. If he tries to cover your mouth bite a huge chunk out of it. While doing all this make sure you scratch the hell out of his face so later when you report the incident you can give the police a good description of his facial injuries it would make it easier for the police to get him.

6. Burglars

When burglers/armed robbers attack a home they always come prepared with tools and determination. and also have a time limit.

If you ever notice intruders in your compound in the middle of the night, the best thing to do is lock all doors and stay in the passageway or bathroom. This way even if the intruders manage to break through the window and the burglary proof they won’t be able to get through the door. (Only applies to those who use standard wood and locks for their doors)

While you are at the passageway don’t forget to call the neughbourhood security – would have said call the police but we all know they won’t be bothered to show up – also make a lot of noise, it may chase them away. It worked for me.

7. Nigerian Policeman

Whenever you encounter a Nigerian police especially an  irate policeman don’t be all up in his face be calm amd sober those two attributes may save your life. so also when a policeman wants to arrest you, let him, -but if he is not with a gun run the heck away- highest when they take you to the police station you can call up a lawyer or call someone to come bail you out. doing the opposite of all what i just said might lead you to your early grave.